Archive for February, 2009

Tailgating Driver

February 27, 2009

As I told you a few weeks ago, every Sunday during announcements we do a joke at church. People send me these all the time to see if they will make the cut. Here’s the latest one I received:

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.

He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, ‘I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him.’ I noticed the ‘What Would Jesus Do’ bumper sticker, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.

So naturally…I assumed you had stolen the car!”

It’s like my work Bible study teacher always says… God is still working on his attitude dealing with the drivers on 285! He said he won’t put a fish symbol on his car until he can act right on 285!!

(And thanks to my cousin Lisa for sending the joke! The joke reminds me of the two-faced Christian.)

Ouch!!

February 25, 2009

A member of my family recently told me about a situation at work going on where their manager was very disrespectful to them all the time. At a time when it is tough to even keep a job, even tougher to find a new one, they did not want to respond in a way that would get them fired. They said that they tried to remain as cordial as humanly possible given the situation and atmosphere the manager created.

God led me to share the following scriptures with them:

Romans 12:19-20
19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”says the Lord. 20On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Proverbs 25:21-22
21 If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
22 In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,
and the LORD will reward you.

This brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Kill ‘em with kindness.”

New North Georgia Young Adult Web Page

February 21, 2009

Both our Conference Youth and Conference Young Adult websites have been changed to new sites –You can check out the North Georgia Conference Young Adults website at www.ngumc.org/youngadults.  Also, the Youth website is www.ngumc.org/youth.

All upcoming events, links regarding our conference young adult ministries and contact information is available. If you have any suggestions or questions about the ministries, send an email to the contacts listed.

“Find Your Path” UMC Commercial

February 18, 2009

I was watching TV a few weeks ago, and low and behold I was surprised by a commercial I saw. It was sponsored by the North Georgia Conference of The United Methodist Church. It was called “Find Your Path”, and had a series of people following signs, arrows, and stones toward a common place. I’m not sure how clear the message was, or if it will resonate with people, but I am sure that this is a sign that our United Methodist Church is reaching out, which is a good thing. See the video below. What do you think of the commercial?

God’s Blessings on Business

February 11, 2009

A few weeks ago, we told you that there is no recession . That is, of course, if you are in The Kingdom of God. So, how interesting it is that in the same week where over 65,000 job cuts were announced, Chick-fil-A, a company that is closed on Sundays, announced that its sales were up 12% in 2008. Count it up: Sales tallied $2,962,253,976 despite the struggling economy. In their press release announcing this 41st consecutive year of annual growth, they did something you rarely see done by corporations: they acknowledged God, saying “God has truly blessed our business and we pray that He will continue to keep His hand upon us.”

1 Corinthians 10:31 says, “Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” I can certainly attest to the fact that whenever I am focused on God and acknowledge his presence on my job just as I do at church, the results are amazing. When I don’t, the results often reflect that. Maybe Chick-fil-A has found the recipe for success.

Baseball in Heaven

February 10, 2009

Every Sunday during announcements in our church, we have the joke of the week. This one from a few Sundays ago was pretty funny:

“There were two friends who loved baseball, and they made a pact with each other that whichever one went to Heaven first would have to let the other one know whether or not there was baseball in Heaven. So when the first friend died, he honored his pact and called his old friend, who was still living on earth. He said, ‘Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news’… The good news is, there is baseball in Heaven. As a matter of fact, there’s a game coming up this Sunday… The bad news is, you’re scheduled to pitch!!”


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